VIP - a benefit or a handicap?

Every human has dreamed at least once to become famous. Some were famous even as children. Some struggles and schemes to become famous. A chief, a manger, a leader. Something. But it's not so simple: you can learn and graduate several schools but you might end up as unknown as any other guy. On the other hand, you can become the center of your society without any effort and moreover, without thinking. A guy could become a manager due to his high education but he might never become a leader.

What does it takes to become a leader then? Charisma. The rest is comprised in it - self-confidence, ability to answer any question knowing or not knowing what it's all about, ability to turn into your favor an unfavorable situation or even your own flaw. If charisma is doubled with patience and the ability to give good advices, you'll definitely end up a "communal midwife". This is my mother's favorite expression to point out that a person is always at everybody's service.

So, one day you notice that the people who are asking your advices are strangers for you. At first you feel embarrassed talking to them not knowing their name. In a second phase you'll say "I'm sorry but we don't know each other, I'm XYZ, what's your name?". The invariant answer will be "Oh, but I know you, you are XYZ!". In a third phase, when more and more unknown people come to you, you'll just answer their questions without even wonder who they are. Then you can consider yourself a VIP.

Once you entered the second phase, when you realize that you are known outside your circle, you'll feel proud, you'll enjoy your just-discovered status. You'll be more attentive to everyone's needs. You'll try to improve, to expand your knowledge in order to keep up with your renown. And this is a good thing. At some point though, you'll notice that you have to answer the same old questions. This time nothing stimulates you, not even the fame. In the third phase you'll keep answering due to inertia, just because you assume this is your duty.

But is it? It's no one's duty to be a leader, a teacher or a role model. You are because you are. You teach because you are good and kind enough to share your knowledge. You can also be a villain with strong charisma and thus become a negative role model. But it's not your duty. You might be told that you have to keep living at high standards because you represent more than others. Or you might do it naturally. In the end you'll learn that you belong more to the society than to yourself. You'll become more and more frustrated. Especially if you are a public figure. You'll long for a quiet hour just for yourself.

You'll realize that you've lost your liberties. One by one. The more popular you become the more imprisoned you'll feel. Can you turn back? Can you undo this popularity? Can you go back to the serene life you had before? Not a chance! The larger your circle is the fewer the liberties you have. This will finally drive you crazy, will eat you alive. The best known example is Princess Diana.

This why I ask myself - is this a benefit or a handicap? The sole benefit is that it nourishes your ego. I just cannot see another one. Can you?

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